david taus

Boy, Man

music: Phish- 8/2/03, IT Tower set

Word came in today: Phish will break up for good at the end of the summer. From Trey Anastasio himself:

Last Friday night, I got together with Mike, Page and Fish to talk openly about the strong feelings I’ve been having that Phish has run its course and that we should end it now while it’s still on a high note. Once we started talking, it quickly became apparent that the other guys’ feelings, while not all the same as mine, were similar in many ways — most importantly, that we all love and respect Phish and the Phish audience far too much to stand by and allow it to drag on beyond the point of vibrancy and health. We don’t want to become caricatures of ourselves, or worse yet, a nostalgia act. By the end of the meeting, we realized that after almost twenty-one years together we were faced with the opportunity to graciously step away in unison, as a group, united in our friendship and our feelings of gratitude.

So Coventry will be the final Phish show. We are proud and thrilled that it will be in our home state of Vermont. We’re also excited for the June and August shows, our last tour together. For the sake of clarity, I should say that this is not like the hiatus, which was our last attempt to revitalize ourselves. We’re done. It’s been an amazing and incredible journey. We thank you all for the love and support that you’ve shown us.

My knee-jerk reaction, as could be expected, was one of pain. Phish as an institution has played a significant part in my life’s path over the past eight years, and to know that it will no longer exist is something of a blow to my memories about growing up. Phish has provided a very constant, stable refuge; a Phish show is as much a known quantity as it is a musical adventure. When the lights go down and the music starts, I am in completely familiar territory. Same as it was two years ago, same as it was at my first Phish show in 1996. It was a point to rally reunions around, a destination for cross-country drives, a reason to go forth and seek adventure. Says Andy Bernstein of the Pharmer’s Almanac: “A Phish fan is someone who can honestly say their life was touched by the music—that is a truly enduring legacy,” Bernstein says. “I always say, if you can create one friendship between two people you have done something great—-Phish created millions.” Now, after so many years, this unifying force from which I have benefitted so much will no longer exist. And while I am considered to be a serious Phish fan, some are in far worse shape.

But upon further reflection, I came to the decision that not only was Phish’s decision to disband an appropriate one, it came about three-and-a-half years too late. I tried to think about it from their perspective: four college buddies in a band turned rockstars and celebrities sounds pretty nice, but for people who only wanted to make music, the “perks” that came with their success might have become their undoing. Phish has effectively created a Frankenstein’s Monster out of the community that supports the band. They are in many ways separate and detached from those people who consume the music they make. While they may have celebrity and material wealth because of their efforts, they no longer have that which sustains humans on a more meaningful level: a community to which they can relate and in which they can participate.

And from my point of view, the music has suffered. Now that we are able to look at the body of the band’s work from a historical perspective, I would argue that the pinnacle of their playing, the point towards which all their momentum was thrust, was New Year’s Eve 2000, Big Cypress. The music that followed Big Cypress had its moments, but the intensity of the Phish narrative was diminished. The band had already achieved and passed through its own climax. They attempted to dabble in revitalizing Phish since Big Cypress, but it was not to be. There was no creative drive the way there was in the years previous to Big Cypress. I think that Phish has recognized this about themselves and has made the mature decision to quit while they are ahead. While they could easily tour four weeks out of the year and release an album every three years from now until forever, they have had the foresight to not allow themselves to fizzle out. After all, as four college buddies whose only goal was to make music, what more does Phish have to prove?

Phish’s decision to end while things are still good for them is an application of one of the most important lessons I learned in Norris Field at camp: stop the game while it’s still fun, and you’ll always remember it as good. Sometimes a memory of fondness and even wistfulness is much more precious than continued attempts to achieve that peak experience you had once long ago. Sometimes remembering something fondly is preferable to the diminishing potential of experiencing something equally as great. In ending now, Phish is cementing a legacy in the annals of 20th century music. Perhaps more importantly, though, in bowing out gracefully, Phish is making way for a new generation of music to emerge and blossom. It should be exciting to see (and hear).

I am sad it’s over, but more than that, I am glad it happened. My experiences that relate to Phish’s music have been overwhelmingly positive ones and I will treasure them until the end of my days. But before I say goodbye for good, I will indulge in one last run of shows. One at SPAC, two at Alpine Valley. I also bought a ticket to Coventry, today, Phish’s farewell festival that will take place this August 14-15. (I actually don’t think I’ll go, but I thought I’d leave myself the option.) I suppose that if Phish is assoicated with my travels, adventures, and connections that led into adulthood, it is only fitting that my favorite band would decide to retire as I am on the cusp of entering a very new phase of my own life. I will always have memories, and recordings. For now, though, I can celebrate what was, give thanks for all that I have gained, and prepare to jump cleanly and freely into the future. As can Trey, Mike, Page, and Jon. This has all been wonderful, but now I’m on my way…no more need to wait for that time. And even if I try to find a way to, there’s nothing I can say to make it stop…

Posted by davidtaus at May 25, 2004 11:51 PM