music: Mozart- Requiem
I rode my bike to work today. It was the first time I had a chance to do this since the big blizzard. The snowbanks narrowed streets by at least a foot on each side and there were still big patches of ice so I had to behave myself, but it felt good to be pedaling again. My car is convienent, yes, and on some days actually takes close to the same amount of time as biking, but I realized just how sorely lacking my life is of exercise these days and just how isolated I am from the natural environment. Both, I think, are contributing to a slowing of personal functioning, and getting up and out on my bike today was a nice first step in pushing against that friction.
I have been feeling guilty about driving. I just can’t justify the selfishness of driving four or so miles in 20 or so minutes twice a day five days a week. It’s consumption and laziness, plain and simple. My car is great for days with bad weather and when I have to carry lots of supplies or bring home notebooks to grade but most days it’s just me, a backpack, and no rain. Even if I am not biking I should bring a book with me, budget in an extra 30 minutes to my commute and take the T. At least, then, I wouldn’t be as personally reliant on oil, wouldn’t be contributing to greenhouse gas build-up, and wouldn’t be making traffic worse. Sitting in a sealed box of steel, plastic, and glass for almost an hour a day can’t that great for my mental well-being either. My students are shocked that I ride my bike even though I have a car; I am shocked at their value systems. Shocked, but not all that surprised in the end. We grow up here assuming the primacy of the automobile and it takes a lot of unconditioning to think otherwise.
Still, some days something’s got to give in my world. I work hard, I operate on less sleep than I’d like, I probably don’t eat enough. It feels as though I am struggling against the current most waking minutes of the day. Biking in Boston is also quite a struggle. It’s a feat of physical exertion and intense concentration, yes, but to take on the worst traffic in the country as well as the New England winter weather on a fully-exposed two-wheeler is not really a soothing experience. Some days it’s exactly what I need at the end of work, but other days it’s the last thing I want to deal with. I needed to deal with it today. I needed the exercise, I needed to not sit inside the steel cage of my car. My bike (and my pants) collected a respectable amount of ice, grit, and dirt today and I inhaled enough exhaust fumes to give me a clobbering headache on the way home, but after almost a month of not biking it felt alright. Anything to put some energy behind my existence these days. Anything to get me back in the flow of traffic, weaving in and out of obstacles, slipping by danger, somehow finding a way to get to where I’m going. Conditions were not perfect today and I found myself moving much slower than I would like but I eventually got there. We’ll see how I choose to negotiate traffic tomorrow. Something’s got to give.
Posted by davidtaus at February 2, 2005 12:36 AM