Bottom line, there are impediments to our growth as human beings. We all know this. We all recognize that we could be better people in certain moments, that we have faults, that we’re not perfect; we all remember events in our lives where the outcomes could have been different, and we may now and again wonder to ourselves: “had i acted another way, instead of the way I did, would things be different?” And I, personally, can’t help but wonder if our own happiness is at stake, or worse, the vivacity of our life itself…. but that’s just me.
And of course there’s that part of our personality that lingers in our innerworld, pushing its chest out, holding its chin high, with its mighty arms crossed in front, saying proudly, and empathically, “I have no regrets! No sense in looking back. I am who I am.” But think about it. How do we improve ourselves without retrospect? Go back to that place, and remember a time where something that then mattered so much… might it have been better? Is there anything that can still be done now to repair? Are there current attitudes or habits that shake out from under our behavior that may exist and persist because of some deep seated, unresolved residue lodged in our past? In fact, no matter how rough and tough our personality leads us to believe, sometimes we can’t even help but think about a past event, whether it be long ago or just the other day.
Well, the real question, the question that philosophers ask, is whether this kind of reflexive thinking can happen IN THE MOMENT! Can we properly assess the situation AS IT HAPPENS so as to be our best Self in the face of an interpersonal tipping point — that is, in a moment where I would usually get angry, or get even; a moment where I would usually say something sarcastic or vain, could I really have the presence to change my ways — And the answer is: YES.
Yes, we can be reflexive in the moment; however, there are impediments. There are things, instantaneous reactions, built up inside of us, conditioned inside of our relationships, and orchestrated inside of our society, that PREVENT us from making any progress, whatsoever. This is true. And chances are, you know this to be true. But I beg you, its not enough for us to live with the statement that “our strengths are our biggest weaknesses”, or “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” or “I get by, don’t I?” or “I simply don’t have time for this right now,” or any other fickle tempered circum-logical, hopelessly-passive colloquialism. No, its not enough to live with these impediments, we have to ACT on them; in fact, we have to act against them! These statements are our own oppression… locking us into an object, instead of a process; a machine instead of a living, growing being.
These tiny moments, fortified in habit, become our most precious, and defining moments.
I’m sure you’ve already reached an age where you can confidently say, “wow, I truly feel older and more experienced, more knowledgeable. I understand the world better.” This is proof of your aptitude for development. Our biggest, most vile impediment then is not lack of acknowledgement, but rather the lack of will, the lack of “want” to take responsibility for our faults., the lack of making efforts to act on ourselves.
Posted by bell at September 18, 2008 12:04 PM | TrackBack