bell - a verbalization of consciousness

Diatribe. One.

To the fullest. From the highest. Inward, I flow; like it’s my job. From left to right, stand up, sit tight. I move. Like an ocean. I just feel the current sweep over me. The dust. I’m all Smile, honestly. There’s a curl of my lip, and a smurk. A smurk that says what it says. Take it how you want. I’m me. Ha. Can’t take that away. If anything, you helped make me this way. Argue that, then. I’d listen. And the smurk would remain. Like a tree trunk on a bald mountain side. I ride with the wind. I could say such things. Time is mine to defeat. The power resides in the eye. How quickly every space is filled. Before I even have a chance to ‘let be’, I’ve already prepared for the flight. Buckle up. Strap yourselves in. I can’t be stopped. And it’s my choice to choose. Any which way I go. You can only watch in awe. You can only watch. Only watch. I move too stealth. Like nightfall, I make my move. I’d be scared if I were you. Nervous, anxious even. There’s an insincerity about it all. But an insincerity from the heart. You can’t trust an animal in a cage. The pacing itself has you suspicious. But the fuzzy mane has you fooled. In the animal kingdom, you’d second guess that shit. You’d have those laces tight if you knew. If only you could know. But you can’t. I’d have to know first, and I choose not to ask. Just roll. Rollin’ like a tumbleweed on a desert horizon. There’s a whisping nature about the whole thing. An aimless delibrateness. The moon knows what I’m talking about. It feels me, up-in-this. From the tide of my mind, I feel it’s pull. Fuck it all. There’s a wicked assembly afoot. Looming at the roots, and who’s in charge? Where are the workers? From that whence I came, to that where I go. The slightest of tales could do no right by me. Fancy that. You couldn’t guess this if you tried. Despite popular belief, it takes little effort. Little effort at all to elude you. I’m almost bored with it. The world is not ready for this. Never has been. But the leaves shake with a bit more lucidity these days. They feel the presence of it. I peer into their minds, and rearrange. From all sides I seep. It’s far too thrilling to question at this point. You just have to let it ride. On into the sunset. Where the river flows on and on and on. So soothing, and temporal. Like a mother’s hug and kiss. Sedation. I see right through you. Judge me, then. I take it in stride. And with each step you shudder. I would if I was you, too. But I’m not, so get over yourself. Yeah, I said it. And the worst part is, I mean it. You do what you have to do, you little bitch. You never stood a chance anyway. I’ve been there and back. Seen that and more. Go ahead. Run that circle. Chase that “dream.” You never could have done any differently. Even if you tried. Dare me, then. See how I respond. Watch me move through the clouds. So light-footed. So, uncharted is my path. There’s a desperation to the journey. Even YOU want to know about it. Think I’ll spend a single moment thinking of you? Guess again. There’s no time for such things. I’ve quit looking. Forward and back. Hence and forth. Thick and thin. Jump when i say so. Too good for that shit? Then you decide; like I care. Movement. In the end, it’s all movement. In the middle too, and the beginning is no different. Draw, write. Hike, sell. Parent, friend. You pick your poison. Chalk up your death. Make your mark. Find your Self. Yadda yadda yadda. Go ahead, tell me something. Anything. Then shut up about it. You don’t know me. Thought you did? Know yourself? Know yourself. I’ll drink that. I’ll smoke that. I’ll snort that. That’s what they tell me. I’ll do her. I’ll do him. That’s what they do. Who is the they, afterall? “Say somethin’ for my country people.” I got places to be. There’s no time for such things. Stop calling me. I don’t need you. Never did. I’m not interested in your stories. What’s interest anyway? When did it stop becoming pity? What, you’ve got a tougher spine? You think you’ve got it all wrapped up. Blow me. I’ve seen that swagger. I’ve thrown that curve. Catch my drift? Lean back, as far as you can go. Hold it, now. Hold it. You sucker. Don’t make me come after you. There’s a whole ‘nother face you’ve never seen. Try me, then. The sinister minister. The prisoner finisher. I’m like a blanket. And I don’t fuck with that silky shit. That milky shit. I cut you down, and cut you up. Dice it and splice it. Like a dummy. Hip hopcracy. Return me to normalcy. I can flow pretty pretty, but only conditionally. Keep my toes curled, and my leg a shakin’. No booty tonight, the mood is taken. Stomp it out. Stomp it out. Too quick like a shadow. I won’t stop for myself. Even if I was asking me nicely. You couldn’t be me if you had 10 tries. You couldn’t be me if you had 10 eyes. Watching me everywhere I went like I was top prize. I’d catch every disguise. Every morning, from shine to rise. And after all my my-my’s, I’d hug you goodbye. And I wouldn’t even shed a god. damn. tear. Heartless. Ruthless. Is that what you want to hear? Does that make you sleep tighter at night. Does that make you have a “good” day? Does that make you enjoy your fucking weekend? Another fucking weekend. Oh, joy. Up yours. With your country people. Evolution. Evolve this! Or just kill me. Cuz i won’t do it myself. There’s no time in my day, otherwise I’d… You feel me on that? You see what I’m sayin’? You hear where I’m comin’ from? Didn’t think so. So why’d you nod your fuckin’ head? Step back. ‘Fore I knock you back. I got know time for your tricks. I got know time for you games. I got know. Know. Don’t judge me. Blame me, i dare you. Weakness. It’s in your eyes. To your core. To. Your. Core. I’d turn around. I’d at least raise my head up. Hey, where you goin’? What, did I finally turn you away? Is that all it took? I’ve been trying for years to get that seperation, and now you’re just giving it away? It’s almost not fair. Turn your back on me. That’s an order. Never be interested in this. It’s not yours first of all. Second of all. Exactly. Third, then. You name it. It’s your little world, and you can fancy it any which way you please. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. Who would I be if I did? Who do you think I am? Nevermind, I’m not even listening to what you have to say. Surprise! Fuck it. And, I’m still smilin’…