bell - a verbalization of consciousness

The Jedi Code

As I write this thesis, devoting every waking moment I can manage to its progression,
I must remember the Jedi Code, and find in it strength and clarity of thought…

There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no chaos; there is harmony.
There is no death; there is the Force.

… just 16 days until it’s due… Lord-a-mercy!

"Quest for Life"

[… written when I was 19 years old…]

— quest for life —

“To me, life is not given, it is created. I create my life. And the life I create is not a goal or an objective or a reachable endpoint. Life is a journey. I walk this journey alone, for myself and all those whom I know, and meet along the way.

At birth, I have no essence; I merely exist for the first time—whether it be due to God, Fate or entropy. Knowing that my existence precedes my essence comes a responsibility to create my own essence, my own life. This is no easy quest. I, in order to better serve myself, must understand man kind. Who better to understand man kind than man himself? Therefore, I am obligated to spend my existence comprehending the endless spectrum of human kind. My quest is to construct the best possible path of life while considering how my path affects all those around me. I am responsible for every action I take. There are no excuses. If I create my own essence, on whom else will I place the blame?

I must seek the answers, I must dig and sift through my experiences so that I will be proud of myself when I die. I am my own worst critic. My quest for life has no concern for death. I don’t believe or expect anything after death except eternal unconscious. If there exists any form of consciousness after death—be it heaven, hell or the like— I will be impressed, but I don’t expect it. I have no expectations in life. And I still stay motivated. I still stay optimistic and I will always love my journey for life. Perhaps my essence will provide some insightful tips about mankind for mankind. That’s all I can ask for. As for me, and my quest for life — I know that everything will work out for the best.”

My Desk, My Kitchen

… and a lot of going back and forth between them ;)

(my lonely desk, awaiting more productivity…)

(and slowly, I’m becoming a regular maestro of the kitchen!…)

—> These pics taken by my friend, Tyson Gillard, while I was away from my quarters…

Caught Myself Staring Out the Window...

I was looking out the window the other day, and began to notice all the birds flying around. It took me a while to even notice that they were there, as I was first enamored in some thought that I can now no longer remember. But there they were, ten, maybe fifteen birds chasing after each other around the house, one after another, like a game of tag—and it struck me that my cats stare out the window with perhaps the same astonishment and enthusiasm as I had in that moment. For them, each bird is a curious sight (and perhaps a delectable dish!). And in a similar way, every shaking tree branch in the wind, and the subtle stirring of all the low shrubs are equally deserving of a moment of their pause, and of their attention. I began to ask myself why I had become so indifferent to the busyness of the natural world around us. Sure, I’m belly-button deep in writing this thesis, but do birds flying overhead no longer inspire us to pause? Might a supremely picturesque scene only hold our attention for but a moment’s glance? And then I began to wonder where we are going at this rate…

The Abstract of My Thesis

This paper recognizes that, as a species, we are at desperate odds with our understanding and experience of the world. It outlines many dilemmas that bring existential anxiety upon mankind, so as to show the need for resolving such disharmony and to assert that all have an ethical responsibility to improve one’s capacities for full understanding—that is to authentically work to develop one’s Real Self. Predominately, the works of P.D. Ouspensky are shown to offer practical means for such psychological development. Having highlighted the implications this work has on inner being, the paper draws on R.W. Emerson’s notion of the Over-soul, thus constituting the Real Self’s relationship to the impersonal, the all-encompassing Cosmic Will found in Nature. In closing, important caveats are examined: addressing how authentic workers reassimiliate into culture, confronting circumstances where people lack freedoms necessary for self-development, and dealing with the ethically irresponsible.

Tuned In.

(On being with and for people)

“With has also another quality. You are tuned in to each other. You are in resonance rather than merely being alongside or coming in as noise. What is meant by being tuned in can be felt better than defined. It’s hard to say exactly what it is. It’s more than merely liking the same persons and the same things. Although it is that, and may begin there. You are no longer strangers to each other. You are not wooden and alien stuff to each other, speaking of a different language, broadcasting on a completely different wave length. You hear more than static and noise. You make sense to each other. You feel at home with each other. The tuning in is to each other, and not just a reaction to a beat and throb coming in from some ready-made world. Some people mistake this latter for central-tuning. The central-tuning is this: you are tuned into ‘where each other lives’ — that core within each of you which you keep hidden from most people, and which finally is your integrity. You know some of both the good and the bad in each other, for you have been through many different experiences together. You have some inkling of each other’s life goals. Once in a while each of you speaks out of conviction. You feel each other’s defeats and triumphs. When the other suffers, you suffer with him.”

-from a book: “On Becoming Human”